


And is it all my fault?

by Queenofthebees



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-09 22:14:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18647140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenofthebees/pseuds/Queenofthebees
Summary: After hearing of Last Hearth, Jon reassures Sansa.





	And is it all my fault?

**Author's Note:**

> Title from What If by SafetySuit

Tormund repeated the news of the enemy's progress to the Great Hall with his usual level of care and diplomacy.

While the hall silently listened and eyes turned to Jon, waiting for his command on how to plan for the upcoming battle as Tormund revealed the fate of the Umbers. Jon was ready to order a war meeting in his solar as Tormund fell silent at last, but a scrape of a chair distracted him and he turned his head to see Sansa rising with graceful restraint. Even as she turned her face away and hurried towards the door to the side, he knew that her eyes would be glistening.

He had spent too long with her since Castle Black to not know when she was upset, even when she remained virtually unreadable in front of others.

It felt like moments had passed as he continued to stare at the door Sansa had disappeared through until a small cough snapped him out of his daze. He offered an apologetic smile to his audience and mumbled his excuses before heading out of the door in search of her.

The slight sniffle gave away her hiding place and he gently pulled the curtain back to find her in the alcove with her back to him. She startled, turning towards him and then quickly ducking her face away again, her hands swiping furiously at her face.

"Sansa," he whispered, stepping into the hidden space and setting the curtain back.

"I'm sorry for leaving so abruptly," she said, her breathing heavy and words trembling as she spoke. 

His hand reached for her shoulder on instinct before stopping, his fingers clenching against his palm instead. He had not touched her so intimately since before he left for Dragonstone. He had told himself never to allow himself to do so again. He was her brother, he had promised to protect her and he had meant it. Even if he had to protect her from himself and his sickening desire for her.

Although, he supposed, it wasn't so sickening after all, now that he knew the truth.

"It's alright," he assured her but he knew Sansa didn't believe him and it was only confirmed with a furious shake of her head.

"It's all my fault," she mumbled, followed by another hard sniff. "I shouldn't have sent him back and..."

"They wouldn't have had any chance at all if you hadn't sent him with the horses," he countered, unconsciously stepping closer to her. 

Finally, she turned her head to look at him. Her eyes were red and puffy from where she had rubbed too harshly at her tears, scrubbing away what she felt was weakness but what Jon saw as strength. For Sansa to still care so deeply for others, after seeing some of the cruelest things the world offered, was a definition of strong to him. 

"Sansa, you are not to blame for what happened to them," he stated firmly. His hand cupped her cheek before he could process the instinctive movement, before he could stop himself because in that moment, all he cared about was her pain, her suffering and what he could do to make her feel better.

"I'm sorry, I'm being silly" she murmured, her hand reaching to hold his own tight against her cheek, as if she were afraid he would leave (as if Jon ever wanted to). She glanced down as she collected her breath, her eyes closing as she fought to compose herself to prepare for returning to the hall.

"Don't apologise for caring Sansa," he admonished gently. "It's not silly at all either." And when she gifted him with a watery but genuine smile, he couldn't stop himself from leaning forward and pressing a kiss to her forehead.

He remembered the last time he had done this, on the battlements with the snow swirling around them, when all he could feel was Sansa, all he could taste and smell and see was Sansa. His lips had lingered too long then, just as they were now. But just like before, Sansa didn't retreat from him. 

"I have faith in you too, especially your ability to rule," he whispered against her hair. He pulled away slightly, his palm lingering on her cheek. Sansa sighed softly before she lifted her hand and removed his hand, letting their entwined fingers fall between them.

"Daenerys will be waiting," she murmured, stepping away and Jon's hand clenched immediately in an attempt to squash the sudden urge to reach for her as she stepped out of the alcove.

The memory of Ygritte came to him suddenly, of them in that cave, hidden away from the world and able to just love each other. And now, Jon wished that this were a cave, that the dead weren't on their doorstep and a Dragon Queen wasn't in their halls. 

He wished it were just he and Sansa, here, in a small hidden heaven, forever.

 


End file.
